Way to go

I took off the kids training wheels about a week ago. Today, I thought it would be a great idea if I took them to center of town to teach them how to ride. It didn't go very well. Both kids were in tears. It is such a hard balance to cut: pushing them past their fears inspiring confidence, or, being a completely overbearing jerk and doing permanent damage to your kids by not relenting when they are terrified. Today, I think I cut the line a little too near the latter.

Henry wasn't scared. He said he was, but he was really just very upset and way out of his comfort zone. I remember this. I remember feeling afraid of things, like learning how to ride a bike or how to dance, or getting a job for the first time... I remember feeling out of my element to the extent that I was terrified. It was something that I had to work through... on my own. If I had thought more clearly I would have remembered that last bit a lot better. The picture was taken pretty early on in the whole event. Actually, Nora finally gave up and Jenny let her. I didn't let Henry give up. I kept with him, while he was crying and peddling. I told him he had to balance on his own for at least one "mississippi." He pleaded over and over and I told him I wasn't listening. One second of balancing and we were done. I ran with him, held on to him, over and over. I think it took about half an hour.

I was caught in this whole circle of not letting the bike get the best of him. I feel pretty bad about the whole thing. He forgave me for not listening to him. I always listen to him, it is central to our trust. He tries new things, but at a pace that is much slower than I tried for today. I told him why I wanted him to keep going and I think he understood. It didn't end horribly, or very well either. Just one of those grey area days that you hope isn't something he's going to remember when he is in college and writing about his childhood.

db