outathegame

I have been sick for the past couple of days.... I thought the flue flew north for the summer?!? I am feeling better, so I thought I should post the last pictures I took. (none for the past two days though)

I woke up Wednesday morning to Henry tented on the couch. This is the first time this has happened, and it led me to thinking about his teen years. Actually, before we start in on that at all, let me say that Henry didn't spend the night on the couch. He got up early and fell back asleep. No forgotten sons at night on the couch...

So, Henry is 8. That's edging up on teen years. OK... fine... it isn't really, but I am dreading... not dreading, that's too harsh of a word... sincerely wary? of them. I know that they can kinda go either way. I hope, with everything in me, that Henry's, and Nora's for that matter, teen years are smooth. I have had so many students and have seen about equal divisions of bad experiences and good. I think that parenting has something to do with that, but not everything. In my head, I know that rebellion is a good and natural process. It is essential in developing individuality, and without it, people turn out kinda weird. (I think we all have encountered a few of those types of people). And in my head, I am ready for that process when it begins. Right now, Henry still wants to like all of the same dinner foods that I do. (I love that) He still sees me as the judge of good and bad things. And while that is good, and I very much love it, if he remained that way through his teens, he wouldn't be his own. I just hope he doesn't hate me too much.

I hold on tight. I know I do. It has everything to do with my own experience. I see kids fly everywhere every year, and I desperately want Henry to choose the right paths. I want both of them to CHOOSE the right paths... and that is going to take some letting of his choosing. There are so many things that can go wrong here. Drugs, sex, violence, poor self image,  I have seen the effects of all of these things every year. Also, I have seen kids rise above it all, care about other things than themselves. Its almost a hero's errand in middle school to care about others more than yourself. I want both of my kids to somehow escape those years unscathed. We debated homeschooling for a while specifically for that reason. We eventually came to terms about sending them through the gauntlet, to let them change... to have them bounce socially through that  place, as long as things didn't get bad. I still reserve the right to take them out if I think it would benefit them. I must say that so far, Henry's experience has been great, and that is almost completely due to the excellent teachers and assistants that he has had. Still, eyes wide open, that is how we decided to allow them both to go through.

Both of my kids are getting older. I want, more than anything, for them to know how important they are, and to know that it is in finding the importance of others around them that will truly find all that this life can offer.

db