on the other side

I don't have Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome anymore. I made it through. To say I was nervous would be a massive understatement. My blood pressure and pulse were through the roof. I was a nervous wreck. The hospital staff were pretty great, but the emotional turmoil of this thing nearly did me in. I am not going to give a hit by hit account of this surgery. I don't know why, maybe because I don't really want to relive it at this point. Instead, let me just give a couple of large impressions.

 I was very very nervous leading into it... however, there were times when that nervousness would disappear without explanation. I would be sitting there and my nervousness would fade into relative calm. This is so mysterious to me. I don't know if it was a result of people praying for me, or what it was, but I am thankful for those moments. Leading into the actual operation, I was very nervous until they hit me with some sort of drug that was amazing... not woozy...not weird feeling, just not nervous. I loved that medication. But it was only in me for about fifteen minutes, right before the operation itself. They put a mask on me, tilted my head back, and asked me to breathe deep. Three breaths later I was out. The next thing I remember is waking up. I was dreaming I was on the beach...umbrella, blue sky, white sands... and I realized that I was in the hospital. I opened my eyes and was in the recovery room. I tried to focus on some round light above me, but my eyes wouldn't stop moving. My mom was there, Jenny was there, and the doctor told me the operation was a success. Beautiful news that I am still not trusting to be true. I am telling myself to believe it... but I still listen for my heart to do weird things.

I stayed a long time in the recovery room. I was so dehydrated (from not being able to eat or drink the day before because of nerves) that I had to stay extra long so they could rehydrate me with IV fluid. Jenny stayed with me the whole time. My good friends came to support me, I am more grateful than I realized I would be that they came. David Gentleman came and sat with me before the operation. My mom came and Jenny came. There were others too, Ramani Fernando came and sat in the waiting room.   I even felt supported by those I work with. I don't really rely on others very often... actually not much at all. Throughout this, one of the biggest things I have learned is what that can feel like, and the comfort it can bring. I don't have a big crowd of friends, and I am truly thankful for those that I do have.

I also realized again the bond that I have with Jenny. It is so strong, one that can truly be relied on. I am now on the recovery part of this operation. My best hopes were realized, I am done with WPW. I have survived this whole deal and am surrounded by people that are meaningfully involved in my life. Life is good, and the future is bright.

db