The Day Before the day before

This is Puppy. It's actually Puppy II. The first Puppy was gnawed to death by infant Nora. Puppy II is identical to Puppy on all accounts, except in Henry's mind. Puppy II will never live up to Puppy. Despite my amazing luck and effort to find an identical puppy lamp when Henry was 5, Henry will never accept him as legitimate. He loves him, but in the way one loves a vacation in New Hampshire after returning from Disney. Good, but not as good. 

It is the day before the day before my surgery. I go to school tomorrow. I am nervous, but not sickeningly nervous. I am taking comfort in the fact that I over worry and I know it. Also, that this procedure is somewhat commonplace, and that mine isn't for some sort of crazy unheard of condition. I work with someone who underwent the same exact surgery. I have had students with the same condition. I am still thinking about the events of my surgery.. the IV's etc. But I am starting to see beyond that as well. 

I think everything will be ok. I think I outworried myself. I have imagined my death and the wake and all that stuff.  (I know so dramatic) In all honesty though, I have. It's not a great mental journey... Actually, I thought about some comforting things. My wife has good friends, friends that would help. I think they would even help long term. That is kind of amazing to me. Jenny, herself, is a good mother. She may not be the most patient person in the world, but she is determined and devoted. She is also dead determined to live for our kids. There really isn't anything beyond that in importance in my mind. She truly loves them more than herself. It would be bad, but ok, for me to not come back. (yup... dramatic). 

I am sure I will be coming back though. I do worry that they won't be able to cure me in the procedure. (This isn't really so dramatic.) It's happened once before remember. 5% of cases are unsuccessful. That's me. That's why I am going back. I hope this one is easy, and that I don't remember anything, and that my recovery is easy. I hope it works. I told the kids today. They barely responded... yeah.. operation... ok. It made me happy to know that that is they way they see things. Dad's going to the hospital and he's going to be sore for a little while afterward. That is the way I need to be seeing things too. 

Oh, and when I woke up this morning, the cat was sleeping in the sink... here's proof.