a six state view

We went to the Big E today with the cub scouts. All day... 7:00am to 7:00pm. The cub scouts actually got a grant to go to it for free this year, which is more than great. It was good. One of the best parts about the grant is that we were able to use the upper offices in the Massachusetts building. Did you know that each state building sits on its own land, owned by the state it represents. So I really was able to look out over all six newengland states. The Massachusetts building was a complete life saver. The crowds were just amazing. Literally, we had to shove ourselves into the moving stream of people and get forced by the flow down the street. The upstairs of the building, reserved for VIPs, was this one spot that we could get away from the crowds. It also had a nice private bathroom. A PRIVATE BATHROOM!! We also got a complimentary bus ride to the Big E on a bus. A school bus. When is the last time any of you have ridden a distance on a school bus? I remember now the lack of shocks on those things. I, of course, sat right over the back wheel. It was exactly as I remember it from when I was a kid... Do they even have shocks on a school bus? It was free though, and that is something.

By the end I think I was so ready to come home. The food was good... fried everything of course, but I pretty much avoided the bad stuff. I got one hell of a Gyro (pronounced hEro right?) at a Greek food stand. Henry got clam fritters from Rhode Island and a huge corn dog from a stand. Nora got chicken fingers.... what would Nora do if chickens didn't have fingers... and Jen got a bratwurst. There was one place where two girls were selling apples. They were "Spencer" apples and they may have been the best things I have ever eaten. Well, at least in that atmosphere of batter dipped and fried everything.

In the end, I am glad its done, and also glad we went.


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Packed

These first few weeks of school have been so completely packed. I don't think it has ever been like this for me.

Went to Henry's cub scout pack meeting today. I am happy that he is a cub scout. He is kind of marginally interested in it. He definitely has good friends there, and I think that is why he keeps going... isn't that true for all of us...

In time he may grow to like the actual being of a boyscout more. They do things that he would like. I have pretty good memories of being a boyscout. I learned a lot too.

This pack meeting was anything but interesting though. It felt like I had just ran a marathon and crashed into an elephant.... slow.

The Grave

I took my students to the Old Burial Ground in the center of Rutland today. Its part of my Historical Fiction unit. We walk from the school up to the cemetery... about a ten minute hike from school. My students pick one of the graves and record all the information that they find. They then try to research all of the facts they can find online. Meanwhile, they research a ton about early colonial life in places like rutland and deerfield and learn about how they lived. Its pretty awesome. I have learned an amazing amount about the history of rutland, and even the land that my house sits on.

The graveyard itself is kind of amazing. The stones range from 1700 to 1850: before we were a country. They are in various stages of decay, some have faired better than others. Moss and lichen abounds. Many are sunk half into the ground. I tell my students, without becoming overly morose... well, maybe it is overly morose, that they are literally walking on the early inhabitants of Rutland, and that the land here hasn't really been altered since the indians were attackin the center. They were by the way. Rutland had a fort built in the center to provide shelter from their attacks.

The stones themselves are beautiful. They have really intricate designs carved all over them. Hand carved of course. There are these faces that stare out. Effigies. They aren't supposed to be images of the buried exactly, but certainly representations of them. They are hollow. Sometimes frowning. Sometimes peacefull. But they all....stare. Just stare at you as you walk through the place. It is eerie. Nno doubt about it. I snapped pictures of many of them today to kind of give you the feel of what it was like to be there.

  

There are reasons to love this place though. Stories abound. One stone tells of how a man, Daniel Campbell, was murdered on his farm. Another that he was shot. Yet another that he was drowned. There are stones erected for those who were killed in indian raids. Plagues like dystemper swept through and killed many of the town's children. There are those that were loved and those that sadly weren't. Even the names are mysterious and provoking. "Submit" "Beneficience" and my favorite "Skelton Felton."

It is a walk through our history, the hard stuff that made us. I love sharing it with the children of this town and seeing them find it for the first time. They were excited, if not a bit creeped out today. 

      

big inflatable nightmares

Nora was out for a late-night birthday party tonight. She had a great time: flying down the slides jumping into other kid's in inflatable castles, shooting foam balls out of high pressure air guns. It was of course a total nightmare for me.

I don't hate inflatable jumpy thingys or being around rowdy children, its the adults that get me. I am not a social being. I am that guy that doesn't like crowds.......times ten. I have a pretty light case of Aspergers..... I have had it my whole life. I of course had no idea what it was I had when I was younger. This probably doesn't come as a surprise to those who knew me in high school. It might come as a bit more of a surprise to those I know now....actually, maybe not.

 I went through all of these classes when I was younger, all the way through high school actually... they had no idea. It turns out that Aspergers wasn't diagnosed at that specific stretch of time. I don't know why. Did it go out of vogue? Who knows. But that is what I have. It manifests itself in sneaky... and not so sneaky ways in my life. I can't pay attention to something that doesn't intrinsically interest me for long. I always slide away into my own thoughts. I have come up with ways to fight it off of course, couldn't get through college without that. I draw a lot when I am supposed to pay attention, like at meetings etc. (I know this must lead to interesting opinions of me) My college notebooks are filled.... FILLED with drawings. I did really well that way. I learned not only to cope, but to excel. It took a while, but I understand myself a lot better now, and what to expect from myself as well.

And one thing that I know about myself is that I hate being in crowds of people, even people that I know sometimes, especially people that I don't, especially people that are judging me because my daughter is in their daughter's class. I literally do not understand small talk. It completely doesn't compute. I know some people say that, but I really really mean it, in a way that those without Aspergers might have a hard time understanding. Sometimes I think I am kind of faking it and getting away with it, but eventually whoever it is figures it out and gives me the slightly bewildered, "I don't understand" look, and walks away. I don't blame them. I have no idea how to talk to them.

Its funny that teaching doesn't fall under that category for me. I think its because I am in charge. I know what to talk about and how to do it. I am actually pretty good at it.... and I use the thing for my advantage. I teach a class that remains interesting, and fun, because I can't remain focused any other way.

In a very backward way, I think that being misunderstood by my teachers my entire lower schooling career shot me out toward becoming a teacher myself: One big cathartic reaction to change a screwed up system for the better. But I guess I can get into that later sometime.

I bring a book most times. I like to read.

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gather ye rose buds

It was cold this morning. I was totally wrong about that no gloves thing yestserday. I definitely could have used them this morning. There was frost icing the edges of the strawberry plants on the side of the dirt roads in the park. Time to gather those last greens from the garden.

I wake up before my alarm goes off. Its one of the ways I know I am sane... I know that sounds a bit insane to some of you. Its me though, I like to think that my body can take care of itself. It knows how much sleep I need and it gets it, as long as I give it enough space... or time really. I have been waking up at about 5:30 every morning. My alarm is set for 7:00. Jenny's alarm is set for 7:30... she normally slams mine off and slams hers off and just keeps on sleeping it up. She hasn't missed the bus yet though.... oh wait... .there was that one time.
I am a morning person... that makes me better than half of the population. Night people can't compete. They live life reacting to things and morning people... well, we are ahead of the game.

and we are tired.
and we can't watch cool nightime shows.

Still, I love the morning. I love waking before the birds sing and watch it all come to life. Today on the way home from the highschool (scripts still aren't in by the way) I saw the sunset, and I realized that I saw both today. Big, bright, brilliant bookends to what amounted to a pretty great day.

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mutter mutter splash

I am still rebounding from last week. I knew today would be simple: Go to school, help kids peer edit things, come home and stay home. Simple. And it was just what I needed it to be. I am even going to bed early tonight. (whew)

The beavers were out when I was walking this morning. They've built a dam around the nearest bend in the river, but the river flooded over it, so they were building and repairing. Actually, they didn't seem to be in the best of moods. Chaucer barely got in there to drink and one of them was slapping his tail against the water to warn us off... or at least I think that's why he was doing it. He kept right on going with it for as long as I could see him... maybe he was frustrated. Whump... Slap... Smack... Sploosh right out of sight. I could just about hear him complaining about being under-appreciated and taken for granted. "I build this god damn dam and the freaking thing floods over and does anyone help... no and god knows if I don't fix it then nobody will.... SPLASH....

I just missed the sunrise this morning. I tried to hurry, I think it was pretty good: The clouds ahead of me, on the far side of the sun, were lighting up pink. But by the time I wound my way out of the woods it had passed.

The trees are turning. The animals shifting to winter mode. I don't see rabbits anymore and the song birds have given way to chickadees and titmouses. The mornings are cold... not cold enough for gloves just yet, but definitely a good barn jacket. The flies are gone, and the weeds are thinning. Things are starting to open up. I love the fall. Its Henry's favorite season, and for all the right reasons. He spontaneously spouted off about it a week or so ago.." I love the fall, because of all the food, and the cold, and halloween!" He wants to be a jellyfish this year. I guess I will have to chronicle that adventure on here when the time comes. I am already ordering pieces of the costume on amazon... clear dome shaped umbrella... check.

I love the fall too. The air smells good. Everything is breathing its last big breaths before the winter hits.
I've heard it might be a big winter this year.
Breathe deep...

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C. C. Lowell

Worcester has some pretty great places. They are hidden in "the rest" of Worcester of course. I know I am biased here... I am really not a city person at all. But sometimes I show my head up out of the woods long enough to find some truly cool things. C. C. Lowell, the art store on Park Ave is one of those places. It isn't like "Michaels" or anything like that at all. Its not full of styrofoam things and fake flowers. It is completely hard core... just walking in makes me want to go on some sort of creating fury.

I drove past today and a few artists were in the middle of creating this huge piece. So cool.... I asked him if I could take a picture for my blog (the first time that I have actually done that) and he asked me what my blog's name was. I felt so official! I can't wait to see what this looks like when they are done with it!

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breathe

I called this blog "Where the air is clear... and I did it for a purpose. I need this clarity. I need to find health and peace. I need it this week especially.

There is this one giant tree at the entrance that I use to Rutland State Park. Its old and huge and I call it the welcoming tree. I decided that I should go and lay my hand on it everytime I begin hiking through the park. This morning I leaned up against it and these were growing out of an especially large hollow in the trunk.

Clarity.... Peace.... Life.....

Growth seems like such a violent process, just throws me all over the place and I adapt. I need to find the... slow. The green. The life that reaches slowly into us and methodically finds its place.

the cast

OK... so this week blew up on me. I feel like I was ready for the fight, and then took the first good shot to the head and went off reeling. I haven't been home before 8:00 all week. Today is a perfect example of how my week was:
1. get to school, prepare.
2. leave school, shoot home to get Henry and Nora off of their bus (Jenny is working today)
3. Immediatly load said children into the car and shoot off for the highschool
4. Get there at 4:30 to find that there are no scripts, stage Manager isn't there, need to cast the play but
     am lacking ways to do that.
5. panic
6. leave the students with Johanna (completely capable) to drop Henry off at a play date at 5:30
7. Fly back to the highschool completely guilt ridden to find Johanna completely in control of the
    situation.
8. Continue with call backs and castings till 7:30
9. Get home with Johanna in tow to discuss roles and cast
10. Cook Nora spaghetti with butter....oddly Nora isn't dissapointed
11. Johanna leaves, Fly back to pick up Henry and bring him home
12. Everybody's home... everything's ok.
13. Kids to be
14. cry myself to sleep (just kidding, but man... this week was hard.)

All that being said, we seem to have a heck of a cast this year. If only my scripts would come in so I could tell them what they will be playing.

Well, its begun. Today was the first auditions. I have to say that I am really happy with the turn out. So many kids, all nervous, all anxious to have a go at it. It is an honor to be a part of this show. It felt strangely like home to go back to that stage. I think the last time I was here, it was such a major event, and a massive amount of stress, that it has seered it into my mind. I remember being back stage, right before the first show, and feeling my heart beat so fast that I thought I was having some sort of panic attack. (I might have been having some sort of lefgitimate panic attack) I had never directed a play before. The most I had done was to direct tiny things inside my classroom. I litterally had to look online to find out what "blocking" was. I feel better this time around. I feel like I can make a good run of it.
It felt good to be there.

fire in the sky

I woke this morning... really early, and went out to see the sunrise. I am very glad that I did.

son of Bron

Bronson. Its kind of a kick ass name. At least when its used as a last name. (lets all try and forget about Bronson Pinchot for a second). It's funny how names can sometimes frame who we are. I like my first name... David... It means "beloved." That's nice. But 9 out of 10 people my age are named David. No super big distinction there. But Bronson... hmm.... Charles Bronson....Big action star of yesteryear.  Type in bronson into a goolge image search, I dare you. I bet you are going to see a whole bunch of guys that look like that they might want kill you. First image that pops up... this guy -->

I don't know why this makes me so happy. I am certainly not the "go find someone to beat up" type of guy. But, I still lean back on this a tiny bit. Like, I am happy that Henry is a Bronson. yeah..... Bronson.....

Well enough of that, I am off to work. btw, the image above doesn't actually say Bronson, but it sure looks like it could.

friends

Both Henry and Nora have friends. Good friends. Friends that I like them to have. Friends that have good parents and seem to have the same values as us. Wow.... that is truly miraculous. One of Henry's best friends is a girl. Her name... well... not my kid, so lets call her "K". I love love love love their friendship. They both hate team sports. They both seem to over focus on things. They're both really smart and adventurous and ...well... perfect together. K isn't in Henry's class... or on his bus... Actually Henry doesn't have any of his old friends in his class that we know of. This is kind of awful. He was very sad about this the first week of school, but he seems to have rebounded a bit. This week K's mom put together a plan to have K, Henry and Henry's other super good friend "S," get together once a week for a play day........ This is the best news ever. Henry doesn't know yet.

"K" came to Nora's soccer practice today because her little brother practices at the same time. I don't think I talked to Henry once. He was immediately off exploring the fields and woodline. Bouncing around the playground. Henry has it tough sometimes. He complains about not finding anyone that doesn't want to play "kickball" at recess. About people not listening to him. It is beautiful to find a few kindred spirits to go get muddy with. I am thankful for these, and the other few friends that Henry has made. They are good to him..... and for him.

music all around us

Both Henry and Nora are taking piano lessons, and, they seem to love it. Nora actually, is taking to it a little more than Henry. Both of them are also taking more interest in the various instruments I have strewn about the house. (scary... I am going to be needing to keep these put away a little more often.). I love that they are getting into music. Its kind of amazing what a part it has played in my life. I know I have written about this before, but I never really, I mean really, expected to be playing music for the rest of my life. Its followed me, and really never let me go.

Well, here is to our evening Jam session! On mandolin... HENRY BRONSON !!  ON GUITAR.... NORA BRONSON!!! In the kitchen, listening for things breaking and half wanting to take the nice instruments away while still allowing his kids to "experience" his instruments.... me.

Henry's heroic caterpillar

So a few days ago Henry had was assigned to find a caterpillar for science and to bring it in. Jen stressed out and couldn't find one, so I went looking and found three. A woolly bear, a cabbage white, and a monarch. He brought in all three and brought home two. (We still have the in a jar on my window.) The monarch stayed. I have had four people come in and independently tell me about the story of Henry's caterpillar and how it has turned into a chrysalis. I guess at some point they all got out. Some of them dehydrated and died. Someone poured water on one and killed it. Henry's has survived. How they knew it was his... who knows. But its transforming now and Henry's psyched. I am actually seeing the little guys all over the place now. There are also these white ones that I haven't seen before. Henry told me this morning that they are web caterpillars and that I shouldn't touch them. He is getting to the point in his knowledge now that I am starting to believe him..... I guess I will have to look into that one.

me... being the parent... night

Nora's parent night was tonight. I don't know what to think of her kindergarten teacher. I want to say she seems nice.... want to say. I think she doesn't seem mean.... really. I know one thing, she doesn't have that ... mothering... feeling that I want her to have. I ask Nora all the time how things were, and I think she would tell me if things weren't ok. I know that she has already set down disciplinary actions in class. I think it was the second day of school that Nora said they couldn't go out for recess because the class was too loud..... second day of kindergarten? Really? I also know how hard it is to run a class full of kids. I teach 8th grade, I can't even imagine kindergarteners.

Still, I want her to seem kind. I want her to ooze grace and shine funness all over the place. Nora is enjoying kindergarten. I am sure her teacher is fine... I think.

The pic above is of a Kingfisher. I hear this guy all the time on my hikes, but its the first time he has shown his face. Silhouette. Still I'll get him someday.

Parent Night

Well, its over.

Parent night usually goes fairly well for me. The worst I get back is that I am quirky........ I am quirky. So I guess that's ok. After nine of these now, I think I have zeroed in on what drives me crazy. Its the talk to people without them talking back to you thing. To simply present without feedback, while they sit there observing and judging. I know that is what I do when I go to parent night for my kids.

I know what I am looking for.
1. Does the teacher seem like they know what they are talking about. Are they competent?
2. (this one in my book is actually #1 in importance) Are they respecting and treating my kids nicely........are they going to be mean in any way.
3. no three.... thats it.
The rest is wash. This is truly all I care about.

I get really nervous on parent night. I tend to talk way to fast and do odd things. I picture myself like one of those guys that get all hyped up on a game show.... what was that one with all the girls with brief cases.... not remembering.... at any rate, have you seen those guys? Bouncing around like lunatics? This is my self image after parent night. I can only pray to God that I am exaggerating how I acted in my head.

I don't bounce well.
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Otters

So... in the world of magical animals, that live in New England, there is a definite top three: (These are in no particular order) Moose, Mountain Lion (actually lets include all of the big cats in this category...bobcat etc), and Otters. Otters you say? Really... otters? Yup otters. All of these animals, if seen on their own turf, are worthy of respect and really.... something akin to awe.

I have seen moose in the middle of the woods. Trust me, these are awe inspiring... and pant-changing if met alone... say completely alone, while innocently taking pictures of a stone wall.... less than twenty feet away.... lying down completely hidden until walked up upon.  Let me tell you, it was inspiring.

I haven't seen any sort of big cat in the woods, unless you count fisher cats, but they aren't really cats. So, I am going by reputation alone on this one.

And then there are otters. You wouldn't think these guys hold there own against the larger mammals but they really do. There is something noble about them, and they are smart.... really really smart... like Ricky Tikky Tavi smart. I have only seen them three times in the wild. It was the first time that really pushed them to the top of my charts. I was canoeing way in the back woods of this tiny...really more of a creek than a river. We had to portage around things constantly. Eventually, we came to this deep clean part of the river that was bordered by big grasses. Just as we entered that little stretch I heard a whistle and looked up ahead. I saw what I thought were beavers... but they were moving too fast to be beavers. We continued to canoe ahead and they went under water...typical beaver maneuver. Then, they were all around us. swimming and whistling. I was just amazed as they swam under the canoe and flew through the water as only otters and seals can. But it was when one of them got very curious about our canoe that defined the moment. He swam up to about a foot away and held his body way out of the water. He was tall enough that he could see right over the top of the canoe. These are not small animals, especially when that close up. He just wiggled his whiskers and stayed there... looking right at me. Honestly, I was kind of freaked out. Just like you have to be when something awe inspiring happens. He could have easily came right over the side into my canoe, and he had this look like he was going to do it. But instead he whistled and flew under water, under the canoe and with the rest of his family went upstream.

This morning, while walking across the small bridge that the ware river passes under, I heard a big splash from behind me. I turned and thought that it was probably a fish. But I saw a big trail of bubbles and figured it for a beaver. I waited and watched on the other side of the bridge for the thing to swim under and I saw three twisting, turning, underwater acrobats fly through the water. They are amazingly fast. They rustled this huge patch of arrow root and went past me. I took a picture of the the top of the water and thought that that would be the end. But one of them turned back. He poked his head up, mabe fifteen feet away from me and sat there... looking me over, blowing air at me. And I laughed, out loud, because of the magic of it all. He stayed for maybe two minutes, and kept  kind of snorting at me... not like a beaver though... much airier. And I laughed again. And that was that. He plunged under water and shot up the river. Gone, just like that.

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aftermath

Well... our little group of musicians is really growing into something great right now. I am really happy with the way things are progressing. I played drums for the first time in..... hm.... let me think.....well at least four years. Thank God. I feel so much better back there than up front singing. I did sing though... just at the end, not in the main set. Actually almost all of us took lead at one point. This is what I mean when I say that I am happy with the way things are going. Everyone involved right now seems to be finding their place. I love that. And I can really feel a cohesion starting to bleed in. These are the regulars:
~Aaron on guitar, electric and mandolin. Also on vocals both lead and background (but he can't harmonize yet... have to work on that)
~Bridget taking lead and background vocals. (She is also the queen of harmonies. And she says funny things..... and has great timing) She is also trying to pick up mandolin.
~Robin on guitar and backup vocals. (I am still trying to coax her into taking lead sometime)
~Janaque on electric or acoustic and both lead and backup vocals (he also says funny things... and he is short which is funny in itself)
~Kyle  and Mark are doing sound and actually, and let me capitalize that for emphasis, ACTUALLY know what they are doing.
~And then there is me. I am generally lead, but not so much anymore (which in my book is a good thing) and today I was drums, which is.... super duper great! And, I think we are starting to come up with something of a sound that is ours. Heavy harmonies and acoustic driven music. yes......sound mumfordy to you?!? I think that, if things go the  way they are going, we just might be able to take this on the road sometime. That would be more than amazing.

happy

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