Thursday, August 9, 2012
fields of sun
Henry and Nora came with me this morning. Its funny, they were looking for the grasshoppers from a few days ago and were kind of disappointed that they weren't there. I am feeling the sumer slipping away. This one seemed to go faster than others. Summers are a gift. I know that I don't make a whole lot as a teacher, trust me, I know, but the summers make it worth it. Its forced, unpaid time off, but man, a couple of months of straight out bonding with my kids. I can't get enough.
I find myself hunting for the same experience that I had as a kid, that kind of never-ending summer feeling, where you run out of things to do and it doesn't matter because that's what summer is for. Where you spend all deep in the woods, only showing up for a quick sandwich for lunch and then back for dinner. Where (and this somehow epitomizes it for me) you are so absent from expectation that you get caught up in the little dust particles floating in the sunbeam shining through your bedroom window... spinning... floating. Well, I can't seem to find it. I always have obligations. Summers have become times for getting things done. Building sheds, painting bathrooms, making sure the kids are having a good time. As I am learning, my time is really not my own, not like it is when we were kids. It's ok... kind of. Maybe it comes back at retirement? I don't know. Or maybe I don't want that back. It is primarily selfish after all.
floating
spinning
db
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