Henry

It's Henry's eighth birthday today and I am finding it hard to write how much he means to me. I honestly sometimes feel that it is more than other people feel about their own children. How can everybody feel love this strong. My whole life was turned on its head by him. I can't watch dramatic movies, or even trailers for movies, like that one that is out right now about the boy who lost his father in 911. I literally had to leave the living room when the commercial for it showed.

I wake up every morning to see him. I get him off of the bus everyday. I sit with him everyday and do his homework with him. I ask about what he has learned in school. We sit together every night for dinner. I read to him every night before bed. I sit on his bed and close his day, and after he is asleep, I check every night .... honestly.... to make sure he is still there, breathing, ok. I have never known this kind of love. Its changed everything about me. I even think that maybe I am going overboard, that maybe it can be too much, that it is unhealthy. I need to give him room to breathe, to be himself. And I do, as much as I can bear.

I know that he will, at times, rebel. He will need me to back off. And I will, but I want you to know Henry, if you ever read this, that it will be an act of supreme will power, one that I can't see myself being capable of right now, that will allow me to let you push away.

But for now, when you sit next to me on the couch and naturally feel the need to push in close to me, and put your face in front of mine because you have a question about what super powers Green Arrow has, or what pokemon I like better, or to ask me every question that you can think of about microbial life, that it is the best thing I have ever experienced, and that my life has been remade in knowing you.

Happy eighth birthday Henry

Dad

My soul must feel like crap...

So the eyes are the windows of the soul huh? Well mine must be encrusted in phlegm and riddled with red throbbing veins. I have been sick. I actually stayed home the day before yesterday. I took a couple pictures but didn't have the strength to post. I hate being sick. I actually thought I might make it through this winter without getting sick... but here I am.

I also lost my voice, not a great thing for an english teacher to lose. I have to say though, most of my students were so nice and caring, and really helpful.

I am feeling a tiny bit better. I am back on track as far as pictures go.

Both of our kids had someone throw up in their classes today. That, is the last thing this family needs. Sickness is really awful, in all of its variety and nastiness. Maybe someday we will be free of it.

db

Superbowl smuperbowl

Yeah... so we lost the superbowl. If I've learned anything at all, its to not give someone else the ability to dictate whether you are happy or not. Even if that person is Tom Brady. :)

Besides, I have three super bowls, one of buffalo wings, one of maple wings (that were absolutely amazing by the way) and one of celery and carrot sticks...

db

Deep in the woods

This morning I took Chaucer for our walk. I have this route that I sometimes take if I am up for a bit more hiking than normal. It is an amazing route through Rutland State Park. It goes far off of the main road and winds down a couple little known, older dirt roads. The whole park is barricaded off for the winter, but these roads are always closed, so normally people don't walk them.

The route is beautiful. It winds past beaver brooks and into deep pine forests. It eventually leads up a very large hill, large enough to give a view of the surrounding land, that had at one point been cleared for a beautiful farmstead. All of the buildings in the park were torn down, but the field stone foundations remain, and this one is spectacular. It is curved and huge and completely surrounded by massive old maples. Normally I turn around here and head back and the trip takes a couple of hours to walk. Today however, I decided to follow my friend Henry Thoreau's advice, and head off of the beaten path.

I met a guy up on this hill once. It was weird, I had no idea he was there. He just walked out of the woods and said hi. He was kind of funny in an odd way. But he said that he knew a way that the route circled back to the main road. It really was because of the quote that I mentioned a couple of posts back that I decided to try to find the way. I walked to the end of the road, and then kept walking.

Soon, a path opened up and wound its way up to the true peak of the hill and then back down in to the deep woods. There were no real animals out. It was really quiet, but, there were no bugs either... so I call that a win. I walked following this winding path for over an hour into the woods. Most of the time I could follow it, but a couple of times I had my doubts. It was really reassuring to have Chaucer with me though, not because he would protect me.... mostly because I am pretty sure he would get eaten first :) A couple things of interest, I kept on finding coyote scat on many of the prominent rocks in the path, I bet they do that to mark the path, (see the pic) and I also spooked a pack of deer that had been feeding. At first I thought it was a moose and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a bit freaked out. But they moved in complete silence through the trees and were gone. Chaucer, had no clue... obviously.

Eventually the path lead out to some powerlines and then out to the main road. It has been a very long time since I have been in the woods by myself without a clue as to where I was heading. It was beautiful, and really rewarding. And, now I have a circle that I can follow whenever I have a spare few hours. I am posting several pictures from the hike below. In one you can see the narrowed path. This was when it was most visible. In another you can kind of see how big the maples by that house were. The picture doesn't nearly capture it. All in all it was a really beautiful morning.

db

Too late

I have been feeling squashed lately. I know how the school year goes, for me at least. This time of year is tough. Its hard on my students and on me. I honestly think that February vacation might be more important than summer break...

I seem to be dealing with things by staying up way too late. Its too late to be doing this....going to bed.

you are what you eat

A little while ago, another pic a day blogger that I am friends with posted a picture like this. She was inspired by Mark Menjivar in a segment that she heard on NPR on hunger and refrigerators as portraiture. I love this idea, and immediately told her that I would steal it. So, here it is... stolen. I would link you to her blog, but she is doing it on facebook and it is therefore private to some degree I think. At any rate, her name is Ashley Shirley, and she is a great writer and photojournaler.

So here is my fridge, exposed, uncleaned, in its natural state. (Jen is probably going to have my head...) See what you will. btw, the green bowl is filled with soba noodles and cilantro chicken that Jen made. The best thing I have had in a good long time. ;)

Boo

Well... tonight's ghost hunters night. It was actually a pretty good one. It actually had me kinda spooked! I have watched this show for quite sometime actually. I still don't know if I believe in the whole thing. I would hate to think that I was being duped by, of all things, the sci fi channel.

Seriously though, ghosts... what do you think? I think that as believers in any religion that involves some form of spirituality, we have to consider their possibility. One of my favorite authors of all time, C. S. Lewis, contended that we are mostly spirit. I love that thought. So, who knows. Maybe some of us do hang back here for some reason of another. Who can understand or navigate waters that we can't see. I have known some very believable and trustworthy people that have some seriously intense stories. As far as personal experience, I have none really. But I have never been scuba diving either and I believe the stories of the people who have.

I guess I am choosing not to know, to be ok with thinking about it, considering the possibilities.

btw, did you like my spooky doll picture? haha...

db