The end

It is past 1:00 in the morning. Officially, it is next year... but I am still up, fresh from celebrating New Years with our friends the McRells and the Nymans. It was a nice night of "settlers" a game that I have come to love losing at and just plain hanging out with friends.... my personal favorite type of night.. no expectations, no obligations, just being there. I kept Henry and Nora up with me and Jenny joined us all about 15 minutes before the year turned over (she was working). Henry was really excited... Nora was really tired. The ball dropped... we all kissed and hugged... a good year flipped past us.

 I have thought about how to end this blog (it was after all, a one year endeavor) and came up with a couple of ideas. In the end though, I think that I want only to write about what this was.

 I started this with the objective of pushing myself into some amount of creativity. I think that this blog helped me with that. I felt both pushed forward and at times held back by the parameters that the blog grew, kind of naturally, as the thing unfolded. There were times that I felt like writing about one thing or another and felt that it didn't fit this blog... which really leads to the question: What is this blog?

I think mostly, this blog is about the things that surround me. I felt a bit like some planet with all of these things circling around me... I would take one down, write about it for a bit and let it go. I knew that this year would be full of ups and downs. It was certainly that: Heart surgeries etc. I have discovered things about myself in the writing of this. I am far more dependant on nature than I thought I was. My own centering really bounces of off my time spent out side. I spent some time yesterday  flipping through old entries. (You can do that too, if you click on the title "Where the air is clear" you will be taken to the main page and can either scroll through backwards, or use the menu on the right). In those old entries, I really see my need of finding my role in things, searching out who I am as a father, and teacher and, well, as a human being. It was strange to present all of this publicly sometimes, and others it felt very natural.

This blog affected my family. Henry, at times, was terrified that I would reveal some time that he was upset, or some weakness that he showed. Nora asked "Are you going to put that on facebook?" which is how she referred to my blog, when I took her picture. The kids knew that they were on display... I, again, am not sure about how I felt about that. The blog was a literal window into our lives, and I have actually grown closer to people that I didn't know that well through these writings.

Here are some statistics that I found interesting.  Blogger has a way of seeing how many people have read your blog. It tracks where they were accessing the readings, when they were reading it, and a few other obscure details like what kind of browser they used or where in the world they were from when they read it. It didn't track who the people were that were reading it though (something I would very much love to know :) ) On average, between 40 to 50 people read my blog entries regularly. My most widely read entry was just over 150 readers. The most common portal for accessing my blog was facebook (big surprise) Most of my readers were from the US, followed by Russia, Germany and France. The furthest away was Lebanon.

It was at times difficult and at times very rewarding to write this blog. I know that I am already treasuring some of the entries and will love having this year recorded in such a way in the future. My friend Mike suggested that I get this printed out in a book form. I think that would be kind of a cool thing to do, and might just do that.

I want to thank you for following this year through with me. Some of you responded on my facebook through comments, others through comments right on the blog. Others of you followed silently, which is fine with me. Writing in this way... bouncing thoughts off of the internet, and having people read them... is interesting. I can tell you, I would love it if you would let me know if you read along with me this year. But if you want to remain in that anonymous internet world, I totally understand. It is an oddly safe place for that kind of thing. I am going to keep writing. I am probably not going to do another daily picture blog next year. I have a couple of ideas that I am bouncing around. If I write, I will continue to post links on occasion up to my facebook so some of you can "find" me there.

I want to wish you a warm and peaceful new year. I hope you find yourself surrounded by those who care for you. Thank you for reading.
Dave

The last of Christmas

Tonight was our Bronson family Christmas. We had to postpone it because of Jenny's work schedule this year. She has to work every other holiday, and this one fell on Christmas day. Still, that morning wasn't so bad, she was here for opening gifts and eventually had to leave around 10:00. It felt a bit odd. this year.. postponing and drawing out Christmas like that. Mom made a ham dinner, my sister and her family were there. It was a good time.

The kids are finally done with presents... it seemed especially long this year. We can all finally calm down and relax a bit. They are watching Arthur right now.

Tomorrow is the last day of this blog. Tomorrow....

Well, that is that for now. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Birthday Party

It is tough to have your birthday so close to Christmas. Nora's birthday was nice, small and nice. It was even smaller than normal because we decided to separate her birthday into a friends birthday and a family birthday. Today was her family birthday. I made a pretty good rendition of Madeline for her cake. It has been something of a challenge for me to keep up with the kids cakes as they get older. We never buy them cakes. Jen makes one from scratch and I decorate it.... actually, I am kind of proud of this one.

Nora has been a little over excited. Its funny, its like she doesn't know how to deal with herself. She has been doing things that are out of her character. She was very very excited for today. She is deciding how to act like a six year old. She is so different from Henry, she is very aware of who she is. Henry can be kind of clueless as to what his responsibilities are and...well... the world around him in general. Nora is the complete opposite.

She was really happy to be turning six, for the simple reason that she knew that getting older and what would come with that. Smart.

After the party our friend Anna came over for a visit. This is a rare treat. Anna is a linguist working with the Cameroon people of Africa. She is mapping out the Ipoulo language for the first time so she can translate the gospel into their own language. Their language is completely unwritten... so it is a big challenge. Jen was great friends with Anna in high school and it came as a surprise to all of us that this became her lot in life. She wasn't prone to things like this at all. She has been gone for four years and just came back for a year of schooling and rest. She will go back for another three or four year period after and will continue in this method... well, I guess until she is done.

It is beyond interesting talking to her. She lives a kind of transitory life style, living with various people in their mud-brick huts and facing myriad difficulties, from the obvious lack of electricity and modern amenities to the difficulties of living in a culture that is completely foreign and, by our standards, very sexist. She is unmarried and white and unskilled as far they are concerned and because of this, they don't know what to make of her. She is unable to farm because she is unable to own land and is therefor reliant on other people to give her food. Fortunately, the Cameroon people are part of a very generous culture and sharing the small sustenance they have is a normal part of their life.

Anna is strong and very smart, but she still struggles with loneliness and culture clash. I know that both Jenny and I miss her a lot and feel for her in dealing with her difficulties. She works with Wycliff Translators and takes in donations to keep her going. Please contact me if you are inclined to give to her. I will hook you up with her contacts at Wycliff. She also loves getting mail of any type (a four hour walk to town). She used to be an elementary teacher and loves to receive and respond to letters from children. I am looking forward to her visit again in June, before she returns to Africa.

db

Nora Day

We went out for Nora's birthday today. She is getting so big... and old... and smart. For her birthday today she decided that she wanted to go to the MIT museum. Now before everyone bows down to her complete genius, please know, she had ulterior motives. We went this past summer and bought her one of those... hmm... hard to explain...filled with water and an oil solution...well, here is a picture at least. Nora's broke and she wanted another one. When we asked her where she wanted to go, she brought up MIT. This is Nora kind of smart... sharp memory and a definite plan to know what she wants and how to get it.

We went to Boston today. It was really nice... cold... but nice. Both Nora and Henry's favorite part, every time we go to Boston, is the subway. Henry actually complained today that he couldn't stay on the subway longer. They sat there... on their own, staring out of the window like they were flying through Disneyworld. 

The MIT museum is pretty cool. The best part, by far, is the Gestural Engineering display by Arthur Ganson. If I remember right, it was an "Arthur" cartoon, that we were watching this summer that had Ganson as a "guest appearance" that prompted us to go in the first place. Ganson's machines are so imaginative and graceful. We spent most of our time there, with a bit spent in the hologram exhibit as well. 

Nora retrieved her prize. We went out for a late lunch with the full intention of going to some cool Chinese food place. On the way we passed...the dreaded... McDonald's. This is Nora's kryptonite. We tried... we convinced... Jen actually stood outside for a bit... but it was Nora's birthday after all. We went in. 

McDonald's food is interesting. It tastes really good, there can be no argument over that. I just hate how after I eat... say... over 1000 calories worth of food, I still feel hungry. And, it seems to set me up for wanting to eat crappy things in the future. It's like there is some evil plot...dark minds in the background, enslaving the common people. Actually....there might be. 

We were home by 4:00. We asked Nora what she wanted for supper and she answered pretty quickly that she wanted Spaghetti and Meatballs. Actually, pasghetti and meatballs (love that). I have a mean recipe for meatballs, but I went a little heavy on the basil.. kind of messed them up a bit. But she was happy and that is what matters. We are having her party for family tomorrow. She is having (which means I am making) a Madeline cake.... blue dress or yellow? Visible appendectomy scar? or is that creepy? 

Happy Birthday Nora. 

Order in the chaos

The day after. We did clean and we did sort. We did it all first thing in the morning.... and it was good. The kids have their respective toys in their respective places. I actually succeeded in having them take out one toy at a time, play with it, and put it away before taking out another one. It wasn't all that hard either. It just took a lot of my attention... and that is ok with me. I also went back to Klems to get them to yank off a security tag that they had forgotten on a John Deer Sweatshirt that Henry got me for Christmas. (He knows me well).

Henry asked me to help him play with a "Snap circuit" game that we got him. I remember having something like this when I was little. I knew he would like it. We actually played for about an hour. He started off kind of slow. I think he was a bit overwhelmed, but after the first couple, he took right to it. He was making all sorts of things happen (there are just over a hundred little projects that can be made). Nora also took an interest. She is so smart... So I let her take a shot at it. Of course, she got it right away. They were both really into it! We talked about what makes a circuit and what a resistor does. We saw heard the speaker become quieter when the current passed through the resistor. We saw the fan move slower because the current passed through a light bulb first. It was a pretty great afternoon. They were so proud. Nora had just finished making a small plastic fan go around when she nudged it by mistake with her finger and the thing took off helicopter style right in the kitchen. We all kind of jumped back and laughed.... and then did it again and again.

It's Wednesday. Half way through winter break. I got a good jump on my correcting, the kids had a pretty great day. Things are good.

Christmas Morning

The build up is almost unbearable. I remember willing myself, desperately, to try to sleep so I would wake up and Christmas morning would be here. All of the specials... all of the songs... all of the waiting. I still love Christmas morning, and it has taken on a new kind of anticipation. I want my kids to feel that magic. I want them to wake up, and come down stairs and see the tree and be blown over by the spirit of it all. It takes some orchestrating. I don't want to buy everything in the world for them. I mean I can't anyway (hope they hate apple products because I don't see an ipad or, god forbid, an iphone, in their near future). But I want them to feel heard, to feel known. I think that is the magic of all of the presents at Christmas. It is knowing that somebody, be it Santa or otherwise, knows you well enough to understand who you are and what you like, and is generous enough to send you things to further your interests. It is kind of the opposite of that gift that you received from your distant great Aunt or Uncle that was nice enough to give you something, but had no real idea of who you were, and you knew that because they got you a book about baseball... because boys like baseball. Henry, above anything, wanted a squid hat this year. He had seen one at the big E and has remained wanting one since then. They don't sell squid hats very many places. Jenny actually found one on Free Cycle and we were able to do the impossible. We let Santa take the credit for that one. :) Generally though, Santa gets the second tier gifts and we take credit for the ones that really count.

I want them to feel heard and understood and cared for. I think Jenny and I do a pretty great job of that every year. Buying them things is like planning for their future. What ways  do we see them going in. What things do we know that they want to explore further. We don't really buy them much throughout the year... so Christmas is a pretty important time.

They freaked out today. Not in a good way either. The morning was incredible. I woke up... of course... two hours before anybody else (5:00) and waited for everyone to wake up. I turned on the Christmas lights... and read. 7:00 saw both Nora and Henry trooping downstairs, smiles beaming on their faces. I was aware enough to have had a video camera waiting and got them right when they saw the tree. YES! We go slow on Christmas mornings. If they want to explore a gift... they can. Although, Nora was all about blazing through gifts and Henry wanted nothing more than to explore the drawings on each of the pages of the books that we gave him. It was a bit hard to orchestrate. After the morning, I think that Nora was so hyped up that she couldn't calm down. She opened all of her games and mixed all of the pieces into a massive mound of chaos... it took forever to straighten out. They fought...there was chaos. When bed time finally came around, I went upstairs and sat with them and planned out tomorrow. Tomorrow we will clean each of their rooms. We will sort each of these toys and we will only have one out at a time. Order in the chaos.... hopefully the day will be a bit more .....sane.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve always means partying with my Mom's side of the family. I love them... a lot.  We have a men's and women's yankee swap. We celebrate my Gramma's Birthday. There is so much food that it becomes impossible to stop eating it. I almost look forward to it more than Christmas morning... almost. I could really go on forever about how much I love them all. It is hard though to really get across, without going on and on, the sense of family that I have when I am with them.

Let it be enough to say that I miss them all, and that I look forward to this party all year long.